on ‘Real Marriage’

Luke alerted me to this extensive book review of Mark Driscoll’s recent book Real Marriage by Heath Lambert, professor of pastoral theology at Boyce College.  It the best one I have seen, ever.  But I agree with the conclusion: choose another book.

Here are some of the most pertinent critiques:

The Driscolls say they want to speak candidly, but their presentation is impractical.

Mark Driscoll says men should deal humbly with their struggles but leaves readers wondering if he has repented of patterns of extreme sinfulness in his own life.

The Driscolls emphasize the nature of marriage a friendship, but then highlight s*x in an extreme way.

And this was how I felt when I skimmed through it a while ago at a book store:

The Driscolls desire for people to avoid a p*rno-graphic culture, but much of their book grows out of that same p*rno-graphic culture and will guide many people into it.

Finally, there is this one and I think it is spot on:

The Driscolls say they want to deal with issues that real people are struggling with but lose sight of real people in many of the issues they address.

I am pretty sure most so-called “real” people don’t do half the things Mark Driscoll writes and talks about in this book.  In many ways it would far more destructive to a marriage then it would be constrictive.  What they talk about in this book is anything but a “real” marriage.  So I think, in my personal opinion, it is better just to avoid it all together.

And just to be sure – this does not mean I think Mark Driscoll is a bad person, I just don’t agree with this book and think it should altogether be ignored.

Even so, if you feel inclined, you should read this review, even just to read a good review.



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